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Chapter 4 Revelations - Lois

Clark watched Lois quickly exit the elevator and immediately move to the far wall as she looked around the ornate roof. Was she disappointed that his alter ego wasn’t there waiting for her? He stood transfixed in the doorway so conflicted that he did not even register consciously that he was keeping the doors from closing. He knew what he had to do he just wasn’t sure if he had the strength or courage. What if he only made things worse?

Seeing Clark hesitating Lois prodded him. “Clark, what are you doing? Are you just going to hide in the elevator or come out here and help me watch for Superman to show himself?” Sighing she turned back to the darkening sky. “Come on Superman, you keep telling me that you’re always around, so where are you?”

Clark stepped out onto the roof finally allowing the doors to close. He noticed the area around where the water tank had been was taped off then looked over his shoulder at the empty framework for the world famous Planet symbol. Finally coming to himself he spoke. “It seems so strange up here with the globe missing from its pedestal.”

Lois turned back to face him as she leaned back against the far wall. “The Globe is still on the street behind the building” she said sarcastically then continued. “Even worst, what’s left of that 747 is still in the ballpark how many days later?”

He slowly moved to within a few feet of where Lois was standing at the wall. “Well I guess Superman has been kinda busy. Besides maybe he’s been more concerned with the living as opposed to mere property.”

“Clark, sometimes it seems that what Superman does best is leaving things broken.”

Was that hurt or anger in her voice he wondered? “Is that what you really think?” He took the final steps to her side and was almost too afraid to ask his next question? “Lois did he leave you broken?”

She strolled away and said under her breath barely a whisper for no one’s ears. “No he left me pregnant and all alone in the dark.”

What she wasn’t counting on was that someone did hear. “Lois I’m sorry I left you.”

She jerked back around at the sound of his voice. “You sound just like him.” As she turned back to face him she was taken by the stark yet familiar look on his face but chose to ignore the chills running up and down her spine. “What, you think that maybe if you had stayed I would have settled for you instead of Richard? Is that it?”

“You settled?” Her statement had thrown him off balance and unsure of how to proceed.

“Clark that is not what I meant. I thought I was in love with Superman but obviously that was a hopeless crush and besides it was a long time ago. I’ve gotten past it and now Richard and I are making a real life with our son.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I just want some answers from the man I once thought I loved. You’ve always been a good friend I hoped you could help me get those answers so I could put a close to that chapter of my life and finally move on.”

“So you want me to help you move on?”

“Yes.”

“That is going to be considerably more complicated than you think Lois.”

“And just why is that, because you haven’t gotten over your crush on me?”

“Hrumph, That is beside the point. It’s because, believe it or not I know a few things that you don’t.”

“Oh, and just what is that?” Then something moved in her peripheral vision and she held up her hand, “Wait I think I saw him?” Clark half laughed. Seeing nothing she looked back at him.

“Everything, I know everything you ever wanted to know about Superman. I’m always around. Haven’t you ever wondered just what that could possibly mean?”

Lois looked him in the eyes noticing his demeanor had changed but not sure at what point that had happened. “You’ve heard him say that too? So, you two are what, friends?”

“I wouldn’t say we’re friends.” Lois looked around the horizon again unable to keep eye contact with this new version of Clark that she found unsettling but couldn’t put her finger on just why that was so. “You won’t find what you’re looking for out there. He’s not there, look closer.”

Turning back, “Why are you acting like this? Just tell me what you are hinting at.” Her breathing was almost forced.

“Your son can see the truth.”

“What about Jason. What does he have to do with this?”

“It’s one thing for me to keep secrets from you but I can’t ask a child to keep secrets from a parent on my behalf.”

“What secrets could you possible have that Jason knows and I don’t.” she trembled as her eyes became moist unable to come to terms with just where this was leading.

“The secrets embody the very questions you said you wanted answered. The reason we are standing here together now. You knew the answers once, is it really so difficult to accept them now? Lois, I really am always around.”

Lois swallowed hard and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. It was all there, the color and texture of the hair, the dimples when he smiled, the height when he stood up straight, the voice usually different but now the same. The only holdout being the eyes that seemed bigger and a different color behind the glasses. She reached up and hesitantly removed the remaining barrier and was struck by the change. The eyes were really smaller without the distortion and that blue that matched Jason’s so perfectly was now there for anyone to see.

She forgot to breath and then darkness.

Clark caught her with the easiest of movements and settled her in his arms never letting her touch the ground. His cheek brushed up against hers, that was all he allowed himself as her breathing normalized and her eyes began to flutter open.

Opening her eyes it seemed like the recurrence of a dream she had had for so many years. Her vision was filled with his face so close to hers she could have kissed him with the slightest of movements. His eyes were moist yet clear blue and there was no question of the love she saw there. From what seemed like a distance she heard his soft voice. “Are you alright? I never wanted to cause you pain, not then and certainly not now. Please forgive me.” His hand caressed her face wiping away a stray tear trailing down her cheek.

“Wha... What happened?” she managed to say bringing her own hand up to wipe her eyes.

“You fainted.”

She tried to pull away from his arms but realized she still needed support to remain steady on her feet. “You kissed me.” She said breathless trying to put things in their proper order. What was real and what was but a dream.

“That was a long time ago.”

“You almost died... I forgot you... we had a son?” It seemed all scrambled in her head.

“It’s all there Lois, it always was. The memories are all there just below the surface hidden away in your subconscious mind waiting for you to want to remember bad enough to take the risk.”

“But how... hidden... and why?”

“A hypnotic suggestion, I couldn’t stand to see you in such turmoil you were falling apart in my arms. Forgive me. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m not even completely sure how I did it only that I did. When you didn’t find peace and regain your memories in a few days I was convinced it was permanent and that we were never meant to be together.”

The pieces began to fall into place and Lois again wiped away her tears as everything started to make sense for the first time in years. “That is the real reason you left, you were as lost and alone as I was.”

“Yes. Yes and I remained so till the second you whispered to me not to leave you again, that Jason needed his father.”

She inhaled deeply, “Jason, you told Jason.” The thought of Jason gave her strength and resolve.

“No, our son saw right through my disguise. Plus he heard what you whispered to me.”

“But how?”

“How do you think? He is every bit our son? But young as he is he doesn’t quite understand what you meant. He asked me if he was going to spend weekends doing stuff with me.”

“What did you tell him? I would like to know just what your intentions are too. And don’t give me that I’m always around.” She was starting to feel more like herself.

“Sorry...”

Finally sure that she was steady enough to stand without his support she pulled back just slightly. “If you’re truly sorry then quit the bull and just tell me. I'm not up to any more of this double talk right now.”

Clark looked away momentarily distracted then seconds later Lois heard a siren in the distance. “Terrific, go, just go if you have to.” She threw up her arms in surrender.

He frowned, “No, It’s not necessary it’s only a one alarm fire in an already partly demolished warehouse. They’ll be fine without me.”

“You were saying then?”

“I told Jason that you needed to explain to him what you meant, that it wasn’t my place. As to my intentions, I want to be as much a part of my son’s life as you and Richard will allow.” Seeing Lois’ reaction to that he added. “I also told Jason that you should be the one to tell Richard my secrets.”

She seemed to be confused, “You want me to stay with Richard?”

“What I want doesn’t really matter, I gave up that right years ago.” He took a deep breath turning away slightly to regain his composure then turned back to face her again. “What matters is that above all you and Jason are happy and secure. You were right, Richard is a good man and if he is the man you love then yes you should to stay with him but if you do he needs and deserves to know the truth. There is no denying that he has been everything that I wasn’t and should have been. All I do ask is that you let me be a part of my son’s life and that you let me live up to my responsibilities as his father.”

They both seemed to be spent. “There is nothing in this that can be printed but I...” She stopped “I...”

“Lois, I can take care of Perry. Just go home and take care of your family.” The concern and empathy was apparent in his voice.

“Are you sure?”

He half smiled. “Go. You know I can. Just tell Jason how much I love him and give him a goodnight kiss for me.” Lois turned and without looking back entered the elevator and disappeared from view as the doors closed.

“I love you too Lois. I always have and always will.” He said to the wind. Seconds later he took to the sky seeking the healing comfort only the sun could give him to overcome the heartache he was now feeling full force. If he kept telling himself Jason was all that mattered perhaps he would be able to forget all he had lost... eventually.