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Mr. Beeto
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FDK - Family Reunion 22
Oct 20th, 2008 at 2:15pm
 
I'm going to start leaving a spot for comments.
  
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Miss Lois
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #1 - Oct 20th, 2008 at 2:51pm
 
Some people are just too shy to start a feedback thread - or too technically challenged.  :Smiley

I normally don't comment much on pieces I've beta'd - but you have Perry's attitude down so well, and Richard's life in a dream and Perry's view on Mad Dog Lane coming back is so 'right'.
  

Those who say it can't be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it.
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jj_the_elusive
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #2 - Oct 20th, 2008 at 6:37pm
 
This was a really good chapter with Richard's thoughts. She left the name of the father blank on the second birth certificate! OUCH! I actually feel bad for him! Also I noticed that the fact that Lois didn't want any more kids was brought up twice, maybe a third time. Interesting...


  
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Mr. Beeto
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #3 - Oct 20th, 2008 at 8:12pm
 
Miss Lois wrote on Oct 20th, 2008 at 2:51pm:
Some people are just too shy to start a feedback thread - or too technically challenged.  :Smiley
So it would seem.  Starting the thread myself should address that.  I probably should have been doing that all along.

Miss Lois wrote on Oct 20th, 2008 at 2:51pm:
I normally don't comment much on pieces I've beta'd - but you have Perry's attitude down so well, and Richard's life in a dream and Perry's view on Mad Dog Lane coming back is so 'right'.
Actually, it's fairly easy to hear Perry's voice in my head.  Richard's a bit tougher - to show that a man with blinders on can still be a good man, still be a strong man.  (At least one critic thinks I've emasculated him).  The positive feedback on my version of Richard is very well-timed.  Thanks.
Smiley

jj_the_elusive wrote on Oct 20th, 2008 at 6:37pm:
This was a really good chapter with Richard's thoughts. She left the name of the father blank on the second birth certificate! OUCH! I actually feel bad for him! Also I noticed that the fact that Lois didn't want any more kids was brought up twice, maybe a third time. Interesting...
Richard's a tough balancing act, and I've really tried not to be overly harsh with him - I'm actually sympathetic with him, and a lot of his problems are actually drawn from my own experiences (the romantic mismatch and associated blinders).  I'm trying to keep it realistic without being too brutal, but the rude awakening is unavoidable.

As for kids, I think it's come up twice so far:  The argument from chapter 19, and here.  It's a symptom of the mismatch between Richard's fantasy and Lois' reality.
  
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #4 - Oct 21st, 2008 at 2:44am
 
I really enjoyed this chapter.  I feel sorry for Richard, but not enough to want Lois & Clark to avoid each other.  I hope someday that Richard will come to see how much L & C belong together.  I also love how Perry reacted.  You were very true to his character.  I can't wait to see what happens next.
  
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Mr. Beeto
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #5 - Oct 21st, 2008 at 2:53am
 
CKB wrote on Oct 21st, 2008 at 2:44am:
I feel sorry for Richard, but not enough to want Lois & Clark to avoid each other.  I hope someday that Richard will come to see how much L & C belong together.
I'm glad to see the sympathy for Richard.  He's not a villain in this story.

CKB wrote on Oct 21st, 2008 at 2:44am:
I also love how Perry reacted.  You were very true to his character.
I'm really at a loss to explain the inspiration, but for some reason I can really 'hear' his character in this story.

Thanks again for the feedback.  Stay tuned - there's more coming.
  
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Re: FDK - Family Reunion 22
Reply #6 - Oct 21st, 2008 at 7:53am
 
Very well done part. I like the way you are moving things.
Richard is much more human. And your Richard is the kind of guy I can see asking that stupid questions from the movie "Tell the truth have you been smoking?".

Or more correctly the Lois you've painted is that type of person who would accept that type of question.

So well done. Looking forward to more.
  
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